Monday, December 30, 2013

Ah. . .
here we are.
Because, well, you know. . .
before you know it, there YOU are.
Already through the holidays.  As quickly as they begin,
we're crossing that bridge in to the next.
Now long since past are the hours of shopping, wrapping,
suiting up and braving Minnesota winter weather, 
to find the perfect tree. . . 
cookie baking,
binge eating, exercise-ignoring,
letter-sending,
and all the things we psychotically CRAM into this already crazy month, 
on TOP of our already crazy lives.
But between the hustle and bustle, 
bidding adieu to familiarity, 
learning to embrace change,
celebrating friendships and the loving families they become for us,
and dreams coming to fruition (not our dreams, but theirs,)
past the high energy and holiday lights,
here we settle.
It's an amazing life.  And good.  And full.
But exhausting this time of year, for many.
Behind our own wants and needs and life as adults and parents,
we are here to build and nourish childhoods.
And that is SO evident this time of year,
when the spirit of Christmas overcomes us all.
Snuggles and snowangels take precedence.
It's not easy.  To do this.  To raise children.  To give them ALL of ourselves and more.
It's easier to give them an ipad.  To shoe them away.  To distract and preoccupy their growing minds with new apps and wii games.
I think for many of us, ahem. . .myself,
it takes practice to set our own lives aside, 
to enjoy theirs.
THEIRS.
But when I do, 
I'm never disappointed.
I never regret not getting that email sent.
Or getting those photos edited faster.
Or finishing this blog post.
Or maybe not making it to that Yoga class.
Because I'm fully aware of how fast this life is going.
How fast THEY'RE growing.
So I continue to do my best, to practice more, 
in creating extra space for THEM.
The time and energy and love that is RIGHTFULLY theirs,
just by being born to us.
Learning to stop long enough to enjoy the scenery instead of continuously looking ahead.
The holidays still linger around here. . .at least through the end of January.
As my mom says, "Christmas Day is when it all begins."  
So I keep my Christmas playlist on repeat, 
leave the lights up, the tree, the holiday hand towels still hang from the stove.
Sadly we're too busy during the days leading up to Christmas 
to really ENJOY the season.
So I give myself that.  To relish in it a little longer.
So as we ride out the wave of the Christmas excitement,
moving headlong in to a new year,
I remind myself there's nothing I can do or accomplish, 

no dream so amazing to chase,
that's more important than being a present parent.
Being selfless doesn't come easy for me.
Someday, I'll get it.
As my wise father-in-law always says, 
"Each year we get a little smarter."
Until I have learned to be fully present,
a concept that will be a lifelong practice for me,
in these quiet moments, after the kids have gone to bed, the holiday madness has subsided,
every thing comes in to crystal clear focus.
Although having dreams are all good and well,it is equally as important to be present in what is.
Being TRULY grateful for where we are.



1 comments:

Barbara Holmes said...

Here Here Sister!

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