Monday, December 10, 2012

Ah, reflection time.
But not on the holidays like you'd think.  That's coming.
Let's chat about marriage. . .
I know I bring this topic up a lot.
And I'll continue.
It's what defines a big chunk of my life and it's what I know,
or pretend to know, anyway.
I'm sure I've said this before,
but whenever I'm photographing a wedding,
walking by a wedding,
have a glimpse of a young couple giddy with excitement and joy,
naivete,
there's a TEENSY, TINY part of me that obnoxiously wants to shout,
"STOP, YOU IDIOTS!  DON'T DO IT!  YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF IN TO!  ENJOY YOUR LIFE OF FREEDOM!!!"
Ridiculous, I know.  
And I would never in a million years do that, I promise.
85% of the time I'm sobbing in the back pew at the beauty and joy of young love,
of a new beginning and the start of this (for the most part,)
beautiful journey in to a shared life.
One that often begins unencumbered by children, mortgages, financial strain, illness, the gross life stuff that comes along down the road.
Let me just say, I wouldn't trade my life for ANYONE'S.
BUT.
Marriage is somethin'.
I've said this before, but we have our moments.
When I look at my husband (as I know he looks at me,)
and wonder how we are EVER going to make it to that "cute old couple" place.
How?  
I mean, yeah, we look like we've got it put together, 
have it ALL figured out, 
have an impenetrable love connection.
But do we?
Will what we have now stand the test of life?
Some days I wonder.
When I was dropping the kids off at school last week,
I watched this sweet, old couple walking in to church.
They were precious beyond words.  
I slowed down to a crawl to watch them.
She helped HIM out of the car, his neck in a brace, 
clearly recovering from something,
they had to be in their eighties.
As he stood, he grasped the hood of her jacket.
And she led him, both slowly shuffling in to the church.
Gripping her as if his life depended on that clutch,
as if she was his everything and his complete support to carry him through his day.
I don't doubt she is.
And I'm sure, he is hers.
HOW BEAUTIFUL it was.
How inspiring and such a sweet and subtle reminder, 
that it doesn't matter where you're coming from,
how you began,
IF you'll make it.
Life just happens and you flow with it, together, the best you can.
It's the effort, devotion and love you pour in to this relationship EACH day, no matter how small the gesture,
that will help it withstand the test of time and anything else that comes your way.
Of course, the annoying quest for daily enlightenment that is me,
wanted to jump out of my mini van and stop them,
shout, 
"What's your secret?  How'd you do it?!?!"
But I think I already know what they'd say.
"You just do."
You figure it out.
You make it work. 
You laugh as much as possible.
REALLY laugh.  At everything.  Even when life sucks.
Do your best not to take life, or each other, 
so seriously.
To, well, quite simply,
continue to accept each other the best you can,
no matter how, ah, hard that is.
(He isn't right in the head.)
Being present in the relationship of marriage,
is remembering who you are, 
but supporting EACH other,
grasping the hood tight and saying,
I may not like you right now, but I'm right here next to you, 
always, to carry you through whatever comes our way.
As I know, you'll do the same.
And I will grow right along with you. 
{Beards and flannels are a bonus.}




{All images courtesy of Barb, my baby sis.}

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