Sunday, September 11, 2011

crickets are chirping.
or singing.  can't tell yet.:)
it's eerily quiet in my house.
and i know stay-at-home mom's and dad's everywhere
are feeling the same thing this time of year.
i'm no stranger to leaving my kids with a sitter and galavanting around living my own life,
but this is different.  
to come home to an empty house after a summer of chaos,
of constant noise
is so bizarre.
but also like a receiving a sweet little gift-wrapped box from tiffany's.
had i known it would be this lovely, 
having two in school all day,
reminding me actually, of my first days at home with only one to care for,
well, i may have tamed down the jerk in me a little better.
that crabby, angry mommy that seemed to bubble to the surface easily the last few weeks,
as i tried to piece our house back together around bored kids, sticky temps, 
creativity tapped out for the season.
get organized for school,
undo bad habits from a summer of laziness.
well, whatever.  live and learn.
and here we are again.
a moment in the life of a parent,
more significant than new year's day, i think.
THIS is the day, for me, 
not only a change over of seasons, 
but a day that marks the beginning of a new chapter,
a new school year,
a new little person our children are slowly becoming each day, right before our eyes.
a time of year hat startles new traditions, a new way of doing things, 
that, once again, motivates you to do better, get more done with your free time,
try something else,
as you try to get used to the quiet and more time for yourself.
more time to think and tackle projects that have been sitting idle since june.
but this beautiful and bittersweet time,
slipping hand-picked backpack straps over little shoulders,
shoulders, that just yesterday it seems,
were shoving their way through the birth canal.
as hard as we pushed to get them out,
ah, what we wouldn't give to go back.
(i would, anyway.)
but before you know it, there you are.
kindergarten.
i thought brian was going to melt in to a million pieces when he saw grace in her uniform.
his baby girl. 

 (and much better looking in the early morning then myself.)
and of course, my mind is propelled forward to the future,
picturing those little scraped up knees,
scab-picked legs after a summer of mosquito bites,
healed and slipping her feet in to black pumps, a pencil skirt,
for her first day of work.
and it has to go back too, to the days when she was all mine.
and i didn't want to nor was ready to share her.
but now?  
well, we'll just say she's got a lot more stank on her.
and i'm more than happy to send her off five days a week,
to be managed by a professional,
who most likely has WAY more patience.
but i reel myself back in.
one day at a time.
only this moment to enjoy and be proud of.
our baby girl.
and then there are these two monkeys.
charlie roughs up jack's soft edges.
yin and yang.
jack, sensitive, sweet, kind, protective.
charlie, also sensitive and sweet,
but wild, loud, aggressive, clumsy.
and my friend and i were talking the other day.
you can't help but look at charlie and think frat boy.
can just picture him in a toga, streaking his college campus.
a beer bong trailing behind him.
we giggled our faces off imagining him as an adult,
running in to things head first.
and as we did, we looked over at him, to find him,
nonchalantly,
shoving marshmallows in his nose.
nice.
(and i know, lofty aspirations for my youngest.)
but that's what we see right now anyway.
he is persistent like his siblings, affectionate, gentle too.
and those eyes.
killer.

who knows. 
maybe he'll be a rocket scientist.
a theatre buff.
fun and entertaining to dream.
all the while, praying that wherever they end up, 
they'll be healthy, happy and good people.
in the meantime, 
fall is creeping it's way in.
and so are our fall activities.
grace has shown an interest in soccer, so, here we are.
checking sports off the list. . .
the things you do as a parent, lovingly.
introducing them to new things, 
to see what fuels them,
gets them excited.
what bores them or terrifies them.
so far, grace is diggin' it.
(these boys have no idea who they're dealing with.)
and we'll pull up our chairs every weekend,
and watch these little munchkins battle it out for a chance at the ball.
so entertaining.
but she's not quick to trade in her ballet slippers.  
dancing.  her first love, by far.
as hard as she fights for the ball, 
she just as delicately unwraps fresh ballet slippers from their wrapping,
slipping them on with care,
pirouetting around the kitchen,
like she was born to dance.
i've reached a point in my role as mother,
that i don't care what they want to do or try.
(well, as long as it's not something stupid.)
i will support them lovlingly and with as much enthusiasm as i can muster up.
it's so exciting to see them experience new things,
new activities, new ways of being and enjoying the world,
but through their eyes.
i'll gladly schlep kids where they need to be,
be a cheerleader on the sidelines,
(something i've always wanted to be anyway,)
only at this point in the game,
minus the short skirt and amazing body.
and i'm ok with that, because no one wants to see what 30+ years 
and three kids, have done to this body anyway.
cheerleading has been added to my repetoire.
and it's awesome.




















2 comments:

Clara Bartlett said...

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