hodge podge 2.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

i've discovered that parenting has an ebb and flow to it,
like the change in seasons.
there's a lull, there's often some re-organizing, planning, preparing, 'winterizing' we'll say,
developing a new routine to guide you as peacefully as possible through this stage in to the next one.
my fairly new routine, especially for the winter,
is getting up BEFORE the kids.
in the dark of the morning, when the house is still cold and asleep.
and setting it up for the day ahead. 
i never used to do this.  but my previous routine never really worked.  waking when they did.
mornings were chaotic, stressful, rage-inducing, unorganized, all leading back to me getting pissed at myself, for not waking up earlier to get a head start.  everyday.
so i've enforced this new rule, with. . .myself.
and the kids.
i try to get up between 5-5:30am.
and i TRY to do yoga if i know i'm not going to make it to a class that day.
and this has been my routine.  
and THEY are not allowed to leave their room (other than to go the bathroom,) 
until 7am.  that's just the way it is.
yes, i talk big.  there are many days where i give in and invite them in to snuggle and cuddle in bed with me.
but since finding yoga, my quiet mornings have been wonderful and a great way to start the day and set the pace.
so when, at 7am, sh** starts to go down,
i'm mentally prepared.
one lovely morning this week, as the sun was making its appearance,
and i was trying to hold my old, creaky, morning-muscles in a downward dog,
finding a happy place at the same time,
i slowly start to rise up, to this. . .
his little feet practically touching the tips of my fingers.
and this.
 'JESUS!'  i gasped.
'JACK!  WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?'
(i hadn't even heard him sneak in!)
'good morning mom.  gracie and i are dressing up.  look!  it still fits!'
(his halloween costume.)
'yes.  and it's 6:00am and you know what that means?  mommy's time.  i'll see you at 7.'
and he shuffles out, dragging the dark side with him.
but not before i could snap a sweet shot.
and of COURSE, a little blast of guilt shot through me,
for sending him and his sweetness on their way, back to bed.
but i'm slowly learning to let that go.
i need MY time.  
it used to be completely guilt-ridden to the point of not even being worth it.
but not anymore.  i'm not sure what changed.
maybe i realized the importance of taking time for yourself, 
knowing that being a stay-at-homer, there's very little time to yourself, 
unless all your kids are in school or napping,
which mine are not.
so that 1-2 hours in the morning, is heavenly.
and it allows me (most days,) to start off on the right foot,
so i can BE better, think better, do better.
when mommy's happy, everyone's happy.  right?
anyway, no more zen-talk.
here's a recent pic of justin bieber i caught.
he was visiting stillwater between concerts and was enjoying a burger 
at our local diner.
kidding.  it's gracie, pre-wedge hair cut.

and a random pic of the boys, lounging.  
it's so weird, they both have the EXACT same hair color, although the textures are a little different, just like their personalities.
anyway,
and as our day ensues and my obligations fall upon me,
grocery shopping, my least favorite,
it's almost, dare i say, wonderful, with only one child.
i can almost saunter through the aisles,
as long as charlie's preoccupied with some sort of treat.
and he knows he'll get something, if he behaves,
which makes it even better.
i'm all about bribery.
and this is my life.  kids, grocery carts and a mini-van as a backdrop.
lovely.
this was his treat.
i try not to buy this stuff.  but i've been extra lazy these days.
so here i am.
and here he is, with marshmallow cereal.
but it's 'natural.'  does that make it healthy? that means it's healthy, right?
and it's not healthy just because it was found at the co-op.
but whatever.
i couldn't pry it from his little meat fingers, so he held it on his lap the whole way home,
sniffing the sugary-marshmallow goodness between the crack in the top.
and he inhaled it like there was no tomorrow.
(i still can't believe he can use a spoon.  when did that happen?)
and delighted in every ounce of sweet milk, slurping up everything that was left.
so as cold temps and winter continues,
as i pass by my front door every morning,
trying no to let daydreams of green grass, lush trees and swinging in the front yard
consume me (because that's not living in the moment, people,)
i continue to try and surrender and settle into the remaining days of february.

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