soak it up.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

we have barretts, people.
barretts.  
they're little, and within 2 minutes of snapping it in, it's hanging for dear life,
but i'll take it.  it's awkward and fuzzy and spikey in the mornings,
but no less beautiful and growing so quickly.
just like her.
so i started my day with this little ounce of happiness.
excitement for a small change that has occurred.
ponytails, braids, curls. . .they're still in the distant future.
but i'm done with living in the future.  that doesn't work.
this is what we've got now and it's beautiful.
so, as i was saying, i started my day with this simple joy.
and it carried me away.
actually, you know what carried me away?
talking with one of my bests yesterday (that's my name for one of some of my dearest & most cherished friends. . .just going to call them 'bests.')
anyway, she has been reading the caring bridge site of the family here in stillwater,
that lost their 7-year-old baby girl unexpectedly, to meningitis in august.
they have been updating with how they're doing, how they're grieving, how they're slowly learning to move forward in this new life without their daughter.
oh my God, it's heart wrenching to read.  but my friend and i agreed, SO important for all of us to understand.
'because,' as my friend stated, 'we just don't know how many weekends we have with our family.'
yes, that's morbid and sad and depressing and scary. 
but we ALL should be living that way, right?  like this may be our last vacation, this MAY be our last. . .whatever.  without all the morbidness, of course.
but filled with peace, joy and love for our life and where we're at in it.
so important for ALL of us as parents, to remember, because it could be any of us.
her mom mentioned a vacation they took, just a short year ago, with their 3 babes.
do you think if you'd told them a year ago that this would be their last vacation as a family of five, they'd believe you?
none of us as parents can fathom a life without one of our children,
and all pray, that God will please take us first.
so, after reading their recent update,
i was brought back this moment, the only thing in life we have.
this moment.
so i did that today, with my babies.
we painted toenails.
and oddly enough,
gracie doesn't seem to be alarmed when these 'weird' changes occur within mommy.
she just goes with it, like it's an everyday occurrence.
(which, it's not people.  i'm honest and i'll speak more on this someday, but i'm not fun mommy.  i'm authoritarian, laundry-doing, floor sweeping, butt wiping, feeding, go play with your-brother-that's-why-we-had-him mommy or 'get outside and go play!'
but not today.
it's all about change, remember?
a change of polish.
a change of hairstyle.
more importantly, a change of attitude, 
changing your way of thinking.
yes, it may start to chip and fade by the end of the week,
but it's the effort that counts.
the baby steps that add up to a big 'ol fat loveliness and better memories.
i don't want a tragedy to wake me up.
to show me what's in front of me.  to show me how blessed i am.
to help me to better appreciate the beautiful hands of my baby girl,
her sweet pixie cut, her lovely mismatched clothes that she rocks everyday.
i want to soak it up now.
and you should too.

2 comments:

Vuong Family said...

Agreed!

J&M said...

Thank you for the reminder!
It's the little things that are so easy to overlook.
We name our dust bunnies and cherish every precious moment, through the working mommy guilt, we find precious few moments in our evenings and cherish long weekends.

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