let it go.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

so in my ridiculous sadness over the 'events' that have transpired over the past two days
with my baby girls' hair,
i've been making matters worse, making myself crazy (because i'm a woman & overly dramatic,)
by looking back, reminisching, sobbing over hair that WILL come back, but is gone for the moment.
i found these early pics of my beautiful little babe.
and how funny. . .
were these signs of days to come?
she's rockin' the punk look!  even at 6-months-old!!!
then, like now, her face was her highlight.
not her hair.
so that is what i'm moving forward with.
no matter WHAT her hair looks like, her make-up, her tattoo's, piercings, (God forbid,)
she will ALWAYS be my baby girl.
with the most beautiful face i've ever seen.
she can go as punk as she wants, by choice or due to a neighbor kids' persuasion.
she's still my gracie.
as devastsated as i've felt the past 48 hours,
head aching from tension,
eyes puffy from tears,
body tired from anger,
i've got to move forward & let the anger go, the best i can.
and just keep looking at that face.
not the hair that surrounds it.
i'm done talking about it.  
done venting.
i will wake up, continue to take deep breaths despite the deep-seated anger,
and welcome the new gracie.
i'm SO, SO, SO thankful i snapped these lovely shots of my girl,
pre-butchered haircut.
you know i'll be framing one of these & placing it on my bedside table
in hommage to the hair that was.
and the love underneath it all.
and SO THANKFUL (well, of course, for all the terrible 'what if's' that could've happened, 
while they were unsupervised, but didn't,)
but so thankful that she was unphased.
that still, at this point in life,
she places no importance in appearance.
she loves dresses, but doesn't care that her shoes don't match or that it's on backwards.
that her hair's in her face (well, not anymore,)
that she's wearing her skirt as a tube-top.
she doesn't care, because it doesn't matter yet.
she loves who she is, short hair or long.
matching socks or not.
she does what she likes & is who she is,
my independent, sassy, bossy, yet loving & compassionate baby girl.
i'll hold on to that, more than the memory of lost hair.
and embrace whoever she becomes.
as long as she loves herself as much as i love her.


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