a hairy situation.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

yep!  you're not going to BELIEVE this sh**!
(i'm going to apologize now, before you continue to read, 
as there will be a LOT of cursing in this blog.)
but i'm angry.  angry's not strong enough.  i don't think i have a word.
nope, that's not jack.
that's not charlie.
that's my beautiful, baby girl.
getting a buzz cut this evening.
why on earth?!?!?!  you ask?
i'm not going to name names,
but my oldest son & a neighbor childl, 
decided to take a craft scissors to gracie's beautiful, thick, long locks.
GOD. DAMN. IT.
those little chunks out of the back are nice, aren't they?
and yeah, that's mommy, hands trembling with rage & sadness, SOBBING for the hair that is gone,
from my baby girls' head.
i know, i know, i know.
before you start.
she's healthy.  she's stunningly beautiful, still.  always.
no one was hurt.
it could've been worse.
other parents are shaving their daughters' head after a round of chemo.
other parents are saying good night to their children's graves.
other parents are living through the worst of the worst.
i know that.
you don't need to tell me.
trust me.  you don't need to tell me.
she just got an unexpected haircut.
it's just hair.  it grows back.
but can you just jump on the sympathy train with me for 2 minutes?
as a mother?  of a daughter?  
who's beautiful hair has been growing out since she was welcomed in to this world?
four short but beautiful years?
and now we're practically back to square one?
no wait. . .we are.  
long story short.
young kids unsupervised for too long=TROUBLE.
i won't discuss the punishments either.
but the funny thing is, is that grace didn't try to stop it!!!
she didn't shed one tear,
didn't say no.
she just let them go to work on her & give her a totally new look!
maybe she wanted that?
but she was brought to our front door, with the guilty culprits,
and it was one of those moments.
where you leave your body for a second.
i heard nothing.  everything went red.
all i saw was my baby girls' face completely changed by her new look.
i ran back in to the house in tears.
yes, yes, i know.  come on liz, lighten up.
but for tonight, i can't.
i'm so livid.
i won't stay here for long.
i'll get over this.
we'll laugh about it someday.
and she's still just as beautiful as before.
that's what kills me.
to undergo such a drastic change, and still be the beautiful, sassy,
'i-don't-really-care-what-you-say-or-think-little girl.
just with a new look.
it's still my gracie.  just can't accept this yet.
all of that beautiful hair we've spent the past four years
watching grow & trimming & shaping & barrettes
pony tails,
DAMN IT!
i was just brushing her hair out this morning,
putting in her morning 'pony,' thinking,
oh!  her hair is just getting so long & beautiful.
funny right?  
as if someone overheard that thought & said,
'heh!  liz has no idea. . .'
and here we are.
20 minutes, 3 unsupervised tots & a pair of blunt scissors.
JESUS H.
(i'll say the rosary tonight when i go to bed, for this.)
one of those moments, well, like most, when something happens to your child,
where you blame yourself.
'WHO WAS WATCHING YOU?!  I SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE!  WHY WASN'T ANYONE WATCHING?!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!
and you just keep kicking yourself & are raging at the situation in general.
and YES, I KNOW.  NO ONE WAS HURT.  IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE.
all we have to do (& did, to help mommy get over herself,)
was go to target & stock up on some more cute dresses & girlie headbands.
a quick fix for our predicament.
many parents can't do that to make their situation better.
i'm thankful.
and will be even as i cry myself to sleep the next few nights, at this loss. 
again, she hardly made a stink about this 'issue.'
not like me.
because she's a THOUSAND times the woman that i am.
and she's only 4.
she's so much better than me.
i could take a lesson from her strength & spirit.
how quickly they pick up & move on.
don't hold grudges.  keep on playin'.
i love that.
and gosh, even in the car, on the way to the salon,
when mommy was crying uncontrollably in the drivers' seat,
she squeaks up from the back,
'mommy?  why are you so sad?'  in a cheery, consoling voice.
i'm the one that needed consoling.  she could've cared less.
GOD BLESS HER.
  harder for mommies to do that.
and gosh, as i write, i realize, maybe this isn't the greatest blog to read
before you go to bed.
or before you get up in the morning.
there's been a lot of debby-downer stuff on here.
but i keep it real.
i wear my heart on my sleeve.
if you know me, you're going to know about my sh**
whether you want to or not.:)
talking.  friends.  venting.  complaining.  
that's my therapy.
so, anyway.
moving forward.
i promise happier more positive posts ahead.
once i get over this hair thing.
on a lighter note, she looks even MORE like one of my littls sisters!
who, oddly enough, just voluntarily cut her hair like this.
(only, much more stylish.)
but beautiful, nonetheless.
i thought suzie was the only person who could pull this off!
well, watch out suz, here comes gracie.

ok.  so maybe there hair doesn't look anything alike.
yet.
but if suzie can do it,
grace can too.  
and she'll rock it.
until it's long again.
(and that's suzie's amazing fiance behind her, rockin' his sweet beard.)
anyway, i digress.
on to sweet dreams of frilly headbands & foofy dresses.
and gracie may have her ears pierced by the end of the week!



4 comments:

Theresa said...

Funny thing, when it comes to your children, knowing it could be much worse never makes it better!

Anna said...

Oh Lizzie...I almost peed myself reading this. She is ADORABLE!!!

Jenny @ mamanash.com said...

OH LIZ! I think you have every right to let the tears flow. I remember when we first learned that Lucy would need skull surgery and I was most upset that she would have an ear-to-ear scar on her scalp for the rest of her life. Everyone told me that no one would be able to see it. And for the most part, they were right. But when I put piggies in her hair I can see the scar and it DRIVES ME CRAZY. But I know I'm the only one who can tell it's there. Why are we so vain for our daughters? Why can't I be eternally grateful that she had the surgery and we were able to wave goodbye to the hospital while other parents sit in there for months on end? It can ALWAYS be worse. But somehow it doesn't make the aching that's here and now any better.

It's still only pain we put on ourselves. Our daughters are gorgeous inside and out and they could care less. Gracie is NO EXCEPTION! Absolutely lovely.

Tricia said...

Hahahaha! THis is a couple years later and to find out your daughter's hair was an accident?? Makes me croon with laughter. I have been stalking your daughter's hair-do because I want to cut my daughter's like that!!! I know we all have our own feelings about hair, and short on girls is not always the most popular, but this is great. And maybe a LITTLE funny for you two years later. :)

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