Thursday, July 15, 2010

as i sit here in a quiet house,
(well, of course it's quiet. . .everyone's asleep at 10pm, thank God,)
racking my brain. . .
'what to write, what to write. . .'
all the while, trying to distract myself from, well, you know. . .things, feelings.
(i told you i wasn't going to talk about it anymore. . .i let go.)
AND, as i sit here editing photos from an amazing wedding i recently shot, 
(which i'm SO excited to share, as this bride was RIDICULOUSLY lovely & beautiful,)
well, i have to write a little tonight.
i am recognizing how therapeutic writing can be.
sweeping all these overwhelming thoughts out of a tired mothers' mind,
kind of like shooing a pesky cat off your front steps.
'just get out of here, i have things to do & you're annoying!'
but not all my thoughts these days are irritating like unwanted cats.
i was just thinking how BLESSED i am to have some of the coolest,
most amazing, inspiring, caring, hilarious & thoughtful GIRLFRIENDS,
my gosh.
if i didn't have children, or a job,
well, i'd have nothing to talk about.  :)
no, i would.  i'd be on the phone all day.
my friends FEED me.  
feed my soul.
heal my hurt.
lift me up.
make me laugh.
and sometimes, that's all you need.
like your collection of sweet hoodies (yeah, i have a collection.) 
they EACH bring you their OWN feeling of warmth.
warmth that reminds you you're not alone.
there's ALWAYS someone to listen.
oh, that's so comforting.
to know you're never alone.
to know you can call upon this friend for this, that friend for that. . .
each having their own cherished & special place in your life & your heart, 
no matter how many days pass before you speak,
how many years pass before you see each other,
even the one you talk to 3X a day sometimes!  :)
to be blessed ENOUGH to have an amazing husband,
but also a posse of women, who've 'got your back.'
who support you, love you, push you to do better & try harder, for your kids, for your husband,
for yourself.
who may disagree with you but still love you just the same.
who may think you're being a jack a** or annoying as hell,
but continue to listen, to the same old broken record of complaints,
and still just listen, despite their annoyance.
even MORE great, the ones that TELL you you're being a douche & need to stop.
need to make a decision, bite the bullet or just shut the H up, already!
i've tried, on more than one occasion, to explain to brian,
why i tell so much & SHARE so much to my girlfriends.
why i look to them for feedback & advice.
#1.  'you don't want to know about all the crazy stuff that goes on in my head.
        oh!  and all the boring stuff that happens among women.  you'd tune me out after 3   
#2.  'well, i really can't explain it beyond that.  women need other women.  that's just the 
        way it is.  you're my life, don't get me wrong, but girlfriends give to you something you  
        can't get from a man.'
COMPLETE understanding.  as much as they want to understand why we're thinking what we're thinking, raging the way we are, fearing, worrying. . .whatever.  men just aren't wired the same way.  they're so much more simple & if you ask me, so much better at just 'being.'  not reading in to too much, looking ahead too much, fretting too much. . .well, most men i know, husband included.  they're not like us.  crazy.  :)  and if they were, well, marriage would never work.  we'd kill each other.  :)
so we have our girlfriends.  who sympathize, gossip, bitch, moan, listen, more sympathizing, more gossiping. . .it's the best.
and i would SURELY never survive on an island by myself, as my friends are what keep me from talking to the trees & making friends with the rabbits.
Lord knows i do.
(oh, i'm not bringing up the topic again.  just wanted to post these, since i can't figure out what else to post.
gracie rockin' one of some ADORABLE headbands one of my DEAREST had sent to her, (well, to help ME,) ease the pain of our hair dilemma.
it was like getting a big hug in the mail.  made me feel better about all of this.  
thank you, girl.  :)


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