my squirrel.

Monday, April 5, 2010

 ok.  so my blog is becoming EXACTLY what i made fun of for so long & why i said i would NEVER become a blogger. . .people/parents, posting about their kids' accomplishments, their latest & greatest vacation, their amazing husbands, etc.

heh!  here i am!  doing the 'LOOK AT ME!  LOOK HOW AWESOME WE ARE thing'!

but i can't help it.
because isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?  the.most.beautiful.

i always said i wanted ALL boys.  6 of them, if possible.  i never thought i'd be a good mother to girls.  i can't STAND the emotional b.s. that girls/women dish out daily.  (which is even more funny, because i'm very emotional & dramatic inside.  i'm a woman, after all.)
but i didn't think i could successfully parent a little girl, we'll say.
well, we parents learn quickly, right?  you don't get what you want.  you get what you get.  and we did.  a little girl.  the most beautiful i've ever seen.
gosh, even after the 'IT'S A GIRL' announcement (which i knew, deep down, she was, so wasn't surprised even though we didn't find out before she was born,) the girl screamed for 45 minutes!  an awful scream!  
we were in la-la land for the first 10, after delivery.  the la-la land of having a healthy, screaming child arrive in to the world.  but then we started to wonder why she wasn't stopping?  what's wrong with her?  is she possessed?  even the nurses started to laugh & giggle.  because they knew.  they were moms.
'oh boy.  you're going to have your hands full with this one.'
they were SO right!!!
full of drama, emotions, vocal chords that the greatest tenors would KILL for.
and she's a tomboy alright, down to her core.  i couldn't have it any other way, of course.  i wanted boys, remember?
well, i shouldn't say a TOTAL tomboy.  she loves dresses, pretty sandals, 'princess-related' things, but she'll quickly ditch all of it if her big brother is outside playing hockey or looking for worms or doing other boy things.  i think she'd PREFER that over the dress, actually.
so the dilemma, that i have this little woman in the middle of boys, is how to keep this great balance of beauty with strength, get-your-hands-dirty (literally) in the mud, independent, athletic, loves-playing-with-the-boys-girl.  
i think a legitiimate fear of many mothers i know. . .how do i NOT ruin my child & their perfection???

can i tell her TOO much how beautiful she is?  i want her to know she is but appreciate it & NEVER take it for granted?  to make others feel beautiful even if they aren't?  necessarlly?  or they don't think they are?  to not flaunt it or be cocky?  but to just be?  happy with herself but take care of herself always & ALWAYS think of others first & help THEM feel better about THEM selves?  to be compassionate & empathetic, loving, kind, gentle but able to knock a guys lights out if she needs too?
(p.s.  i don't condon violence.  unless it's on the hockey rink.  which i hope she plays.  or if her life is being threatened. . .or she needs to help someone else.  so violence-away!)

ugh.  i digress.  this is way too deep & overwhelming for a monday.  i think the peeps & peanut butter eggs are getting to me, the day post-Easter.  but that's how much emotion these images of my baby girl, my squirrel, we call her, invokes.

but open to suggestions on this one.  in the meantime, one day at a time, as my mom has always said.  i'll let her be who's she's going to be.  at the current moment, the little girl that frequently says, 'hey mom!  what did one duck say to the otha' duck?  (oh.  she has a new york accent.  can't say her r's or l's all that well.  it's HILARIOUS.)
but the girl that says that & then pulls up her skirt & farts, giggles, & runs away.
my little boy, gracie.:)
but i'll do my best to help her love who she is & APPRECIATE & be greatful for all that she has, ability to toot on command & all.


Jenny said...

Before I had any kids I always thought I wanted at least one girl, if not many. Then I had William and I said, scratch that, I want all boys. Then I got my little lucy goosie and I realized God knew better than I did what I really wanted.

But you're right, those girls are TRI-CKY to say the least. My little lady is strong-willed and daring and adventurous. But when she plays alone she's so soft and tender and gentle. During the day she smiles constantly. But when night arrives she turns into a werewolf. I can't tell yet if it's second-born or that she's a girl. It's probably just that she is who she is.

In the end I'm so happy to be able to experience all the different character traits of my children. Because they are SO SO SO different. Even if it is frustrating at times. Or all the time. Whatever.

Happy Easter to the Westys!

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