mrs. westerpants.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

well, i've been called a lot of things.
and fortunately, mostly BEHIND my back.
it's no business of mine, what other people think of me.
but this MIGHT be the greatest name i've ever been called.
by 2 little clients i just ADORE.
from what i understand, she thought my name was,
mrs. westerpants.
and now, i'm officially adopting that as my new name (at least to my 'little' clients.)
thank you, m, for that.  :)
so, i have a few other things to write about.
first of all, britney can suck it.
she ain't got NOTHIN' on my girl!
(that's me talking like, well, i was raised in a small town in louisiana.)
actually, isn't this how little girls fall off the beaten path?
forced, too young, in to a life of routine, structure, organized goofiness & slutty outfits. . .then they rebel, date guys like this, get knocked up & then divorced before they're 28, have a nervous breakdown before they've even hit mid-life, shave their head. . .  
oh God, help me.
my baby girl.  
i'm signing her up for hockey tomorrow.
no, but she seems to like dance.  
wasn't forced into it. . .just trying it out to see what she thinks.
and still looks cute, despite the ridiculous outfit.  but secretly hoping she parts ways 'gracefully,' so to speak, from this arena of crazy-lip-gloss-toting-hair-curling-making-a-fuss-over-any-hair-out-of-place-on-their-child-mothers.  you know.  the crazy moms living their prom-queen, beauty pageant dreams through their little girls.  the ones that make you so sad & make you want to save them from their mothers.
(i'm being dramatic.  i didn't see any of that today. . .yet.)
but i just threw up in my mouth.  the thought of that future for BOTH of us.
i'm not cut out for this.  oh, you KNOW i'll support it if my baby girl loves it.
but again, secretly hoping she just takes her natural rhythm & joy of dancing to the privacy of her bedroom or at least has SOME skillz & self-confidence to cut-a-rug when music starts to play.
but this life. . .(note pic above,) makes me uncomfortable.  nervous.  i have no stomach for many women in general.  drama.  emotions.  tears.  (remember the whole, 'mother of boys only' plan?  go to the april archives, 'my squirrel.')
and my mom friend next to me whispered, 'ugh.  i feel like we're exploiting these girls.' 
that's kind of what it feels like.  thankfully, they're too young to know, to (hopefully) remember AND as long as we're not pushing it, as mothers, they'll be just fine & figure things out for themselves.
anyway, as you can see, my wishes MAY come true! 
she was P-I-I. . .I-S-S-E-D about being woken up from her dreamy, 3-year-old slumber to put on icky tights, this God-awful outfit, shoes that are too tight. . .just to go have her picture taken in it.
welcome to womanhood, girl.
notice the VEIN bulging from her neck?  now you KNOW she's pissed.
and THEN, the tantrum continues.
oh yeah.  that's my delicate doily KICKING the toybox.  she's pissed.
not so much at me as the situation.
and i was LAUGHING as i was shooting.  
which, of course, only fueled the fire.
see the little vacuum right there?
she picked it up, brought it up over her head & threw it at me. . .all matt hardy style.
nice, huh?  and i only laughed harder.
i'm sorry.  but i'm just way too tired at the end of each day, not to appreciate the humor in these moments & to crazed & wiped out to care anymore, to discipline anymore.  although i'm probably scarring my children for life, laughing like a crazy woman when all they need is a hug, maybe it will teach them not to take themselves so seriously.  or realize that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do & just suck it up for an hour.
or maybe i'm just a jerk.
ahhh. . .entertaining for me, nontheless.
tantrum ended with bribery as usual. . .snacks, special treatment, etc. so 'you'll get in the car already!'
pictures went great (at least, i hope they did, as the moms were shuffled off when they got to the 'studio.') 
so i'm sure we'll get ours back with gracie flicking off the camera.
but she was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.  
and if she decides next year UFC fighting is more her speed, i'm behind her 100%.
-mrs. westerpants.


Kristin said...

Thank you Grace and Liz for the laugh!! Always enjoy reading your posts.

gabbygrace said...

Seriously Liz you are hilariuos!!!!!!! Can I just say, I am HANDS DOWN the all hated prim and proper, love make up on a 3 year old and not against a spray tan, MOM! :))) But you still love me!

Anonymous said...

HAHAH! I think I might have that outfit.... and I'm the same way - the piture of Nate sobbing in the snow, in the driveway? He was screaming "STOP laughing! STOP taking pictures!!" But I couldn't... it was too good! These pics are amazing Liz.

MinneWell said...

It is too bad you have had this experience with dance. We have LOVED it, and most importantly, Lauren has LOVED every minute of it. Dance is such a beautiful form of art. I truly feel kids can benefit a lot from dance. We don't have "those" types of moms at our studio. It really is a bummer for you guys.

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